The Confidence Formula

What if you could learn confidence?

As I work with clients, it’s not uncommon for them to be surprised when I tell them that certain skills, like confidence, can be learned and improved. And when they actually experience it, they are even more surprised! Honestly, I didn’t set out to teach confidence, but after watching how it changed my clients, I started thinking about how to do just that. It’s certainly an ongoing process, but the result (so far) is something of a formula that I believe results in improved self-confidence. Here’s what I mean…

What is confidence?

Confidence is defined as “the quality or state of being certain”. In my experience, it also includes quietness and humility as opposed to arrogance. The confident people I know don’t know everything about everything and they don’t pretend that they do! In fact, part of their confidence comes from their ability to separate their identity from their activities. They don’t fear failure because they understand their value does not depend on their results. They value themselves as humans, not as beings or doings.

Where does confidence originate?

It would be easy to say that we learn (or not) our confidence from our families and the way we are raised. That is partly true but it doesn’t tell the whole story! Yes, confidence is learned and yes, our early life and families play a significant role in how much or how little confidence we begin with. BUT, the confidence level that we gain during our childhood is only the starting point. Throughout our lives, we encounter teachers, friends, colleagues, and mentors that add to our confidence by their investment of time and encouragement in our lives.

How does confidence grow?

Unfortunately, too many people believe that the confidence they have (or that they lack) is what they are stuck with forever. The good news, however, is that confidence can grow. Every personal success, mastery of a skill, and challenge that is overcome increases confidence. Those small improvements cultivate a mindset that believes you are capable of larger successes. That mindset leads you to surround yourself with people and tools that can help you. And that environment provides opportunities for preparation, practice, and repetition. Little by little, you find yourself standing taller and being willing to take risks that you never have before. You have grown more confidence!

The Confidence Formula

Here it is…

Confidence Foundation (family of origin and childhood encouragement)

+ Positive Input (Personal Success, Mastery & Risk)

- Setbacks & Challenges (Failure, Negative Comparison & Self-Talk)

+ Resilience & Mindset

= CONFIDENCE

I hope today is the day that you start putting that formula to work and help your confidence grow! What have you got to lose?